The Persona Paradox: Work Personalities vs True Identities

Have you ever noticed a difference in the way some people carry themselves at work vis-à-vis their behavior outside the work environment? It could be a slight difference in their tone or the volume of their voice, sometimes a difference in their facial expressions or body language. And in severe cases, a total transformation of personalities!

I witnessed such transformations in my lifetime and always wondered why some people felt the need to adopt different personas while at work. It is as if they pick a mask to wear depending on the situation they are in and individuals they are interacting with.

Growing up, I remember being told I had to maintain a professional look while at work. It meant I had to dress formally, typically in darker shades, wear less comfortable shoes and behave is a manner skewed closer to being cold and distant. Showing emotions at work was a definite No No. Laughing too hard or shedding a tear were deemed unacceptable and unprofessional, especially when demonstrated by a woman!

Back then, it somehow made sense to me. It seemed logical to behave differently at work and at home. But as time passed and I grew a little wiser, I started questioning the “professional look" in itself. Did it differ from one person to another, one job to another or one location to another? Most importantly, did it have to be any different from the “look” we adopt in our personal lives?

During a casual conversation with a friend of mine, he described the behavior of one of his colleagues. This colleague was consistently rude, obnoxious, and generally unpleasant all around. My friend and I pondered on this individual's circumstances and wondered if the man in question behaved differently in his personal life. We assumed he had a family or at least some close friends; perhaps he had a significant other or kids under his care. Unless he was a total loner, we concluded his behavior had to be different to maintain any personal relationships with others. He must have been nice, showed kindness at times and supported those around him, otherwise he wouldn't have been able to maintain any of those personal connections. So why then, did this colleague feel the need to act like a “jerk” (excuse the lingo) at work?

It seems hard keeping separate personalities and behaving differently depending on the environment we are in. And for those who pull it off, it must be exhausting, not to mention time consuming, especially considering the number of hours we spend at work versus home. It drains energy and takes away attention from much more important tasks.

To solve this persona paradox, leaders need to commit to a standard work conduct by modelling behaviors they want to replicate throughout the organization. They need to put in the hard work to create a healthy and safe work culture where everyone is respected, where diversity of thought is encouraged and where experimentation and innovation is rewarded even if it comes with early mishaps. Equally important, leaders must recognize and weed-off inappropriate behaviors by calling them out and discussing them openly.

James Baldwin explained it best when he said: "Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them." The same logic applies to leaders and those they serve.

For more information on creating a best-fit culture for your organization, look up Creating Inspiring Workplaces from Awe Horizons and reach out to us.